Every February I am always reminded of love, friendship and gratitude. I know Valentine’s Day isn’t for everybody. Some think it is a commercially driven nightmare. I on the other hand quite like putting aside one day a year to give a little token or note to those I love. It brings back fond school girl memories. I loved the class project in elementary school of decorating a personalized shoebox/mailbox for Valentine’s Day and filling out one of those little Disney or Looney Tunes valentine’s kits from the grocery store for every kid in my class and hoping to get a few back from fellow classmates. It was one of my favorite days of the year. So this year I wanted to send out my own sort of grown up version of a school valentine via this column and send some love to all of the strong women in our community who have unknowingly mentored me regarding how to be competitive and generous at the same time. Here is what I adore and admire about so many of our local women. They are 100% supportive and giving towards each other. Our community has so many hard working women who are small business owners. Which is quite remarkable with the national average of small business owners being 4 male to 1 female. Here in Southern Pines it seems the opposite is true. Anthony at the Ice Cream Parlor is about the last man standing in downtown! With such a small town and where everyone is fighting for the same business it’s naturally a competitive and at times stressful pursuit. It’s easy to see how it can get a little cutthroat. In fact, I have experienced that very thing…
When I opened my shop 8 years ago, I got an earful from a fellow female business owner (no longer is business) who stopped by the shop for a little inspection. She warned me I better not undercut her prices and, “I better not be some bored housewife with too much money and not enough sense!” It was a warning to be sure and not really the welcome to the small business community I was expecting from such a charming downtown.
That is why all these years later when I see this new group of women who are strong minded competitive business owners and also genuinely supportive of one another I am left in awe. To be honest it doesn’t come naturally for me ( I am embarrassed to admit)… I am highly and unattractively competitive. Hence the reason I won’t even attend a game night with friends. (think “Lord of the Rings” where Uncle Bilbo grabs the ring and turns into a hideous monster…) But I am learning and growing and trying to be better. In a culture where women are often pit against each other for media fodder and young girls are often taught that other girls are competition rather than there friend; it’s remarkable to see these local women blaze a different path.
Today, I see a divergent culture arising of women who still remain competitive and fierce but who also help contribute to one another’s success. It has been a great experience for me to be able to look around at my competitors and learn how to compete in the same market as them and also feel happy for their success even if that comes at a cost. I think maybe this progressive attitude arrives with maturity, but more importantly is taught by example. How different would my experience have been 8 years ago when I opened my shop, had that same sage business woman walked into my shop and told me, “Welcome! I wish you much success. Please be respectful of what I sell and I will do the same for you. Good luck.” It would’ve changed everything. It’s the boundary setting/strength, mixed with generosity and kindness that is the winning combination and yet difficult to achieve.
When I think of all the strong women in this town who support and encourage each other; dozens of beautiful faces come to mind and its hard to name just one or two. Here are just a few strong women who I think are leading by example with the winning combination listed above and who’ve I learned so much from in this town.
Jeannie – Mind Your Body Pilates
Virginia – Hot Asana
Jessica – Sunrise Theater
Sarah and Toni Anne – Southern Pines Crossfit
Ashley – Ashten’s
Mary Ann – Chef Warren’s
Lisa – Swank
Janelle – C Cup Cupcakery
Kimberly – Country Book Shop
Patrica – Patricia’s
Angela – Southern Whey
Cameron – R Riveter
Rachel Garrison – Rachel Garrison Photography
Katie and Abi – Legacy Magazine
(and of course our very own) Amanda – Pinehurst Living
…The list could go on and on regarding the kind hearted women right here in Southern Pines, and these are just a few of the women entrepreneurs in this area I have personally come across. The above list doesn’t even mention the hard working women who are in our community raising thoughtful children, nurses, doctors, teachers, soldiers, pilots… The talent pool is overwhelming!
So this February when I start thinking of who might be my Valentine and who I might want to send some love and kindness; I think of this strong network of women who put each other first. These beautiful ladies who encourage one another to be there best while they become theirs. I have witnessed an evolution of how women treat one another and the future looks bright— right here Under the Pines.
mockingbirdonbroad 